Raffles All-Round Excellence Award Interview (Headmaster's honour list)

whew! finally the interview was over!! i've never realised that people have to go for an interview in order to get an award...

i only knew about this interview one day before the day itself. i was so nervous that my stomach was not feeling so well since this morning. i kept asking my friend, who was interviewed yesterday, on msn about what kind of questions did mr eng ask.

"questions like.... he will give u a situation and see how are u going to handle it..."

"lol and the standard questions like 'why do u think u deserve this award'..." haha i was well prepared for this question. i planned to answer like this: "this award recognises student's achievement in academic study, CCAs, leadership and character, and service to community. at first, i don't think i deserve this award. because there are many people who excel in these areas. but now, i think that i deserve this award. because, even though my academic result is not really outstanding, at least i am able to maintain the GPA of most of the subjects at 3.6 or above; in my CCA, which is badminton, i was the champion of the national individual last year and 2nd runner-up for this year. i also represented Singapore for ASEAN school games in Thailand which the team came in third. i also hold leadership positions. i was a treasurer last year and a monitor this year, i am also a psl and the captain of the badminton team, which i believe that i have fulfilled my responsibilities. thats why i think i deserve it."

but too bad, mr eng didnt ask this question when he interviewed me... haha

by the way, i thought the interview should be one on one, as what my friend said. but i think it just happened that mr eng and mr yap were having a meeting with someone before my interview, mr yap also stayed there for my interview, so that was two on one.

oh god! during the interview, my lips and throat was super dry. i guess this is what happen when u are too nervous. oh shit! it made me kinda stutter. it was not because i was nervous really.. eh... but honestly, before the interview i was damn nervous, my heart was beating so fast as if it was going to pop out. but when i went into the office and faced the two interviewer, somehow i was kinda calm... hmm.. not bad ya haha

but anyway, i think even if i didnt stutter i also can barely get the award. i heard from one of my friends, there are only three places for this award each level. SEX and Naishad were the awardees for two consecutive years, they of course have the biggest percentage to be awarded again. and the last one will most probably be Phang Wei Han. even if he will not be the last one, the chance of me getting this award is nearly zero. there are so many people better than me, see....

anyway, it does not matter whether i get this award. i just know that the interview is over. i am free again!!!!!!!!

am I qualified as a leader?

No

i have taken up so many responsibilities as a captain, a monitor blah blah blah... hoping that i can grow. but after all this time i have been through, i realised that i am still nothing but a useless person with only the names of the positions pressing on my shoulders.

when i was appointed as the captain of RIBT, i said that i want to help the juniors. but when i look back, what have i done? nothing i guess. what kind of help have i rendered to my juniors? none. have i really carried out my responsibility? no. under my lead, the spirit of the team has become much much worse than last year's. team spirit was never seen since the beginning of the year (i guess?). when i was appointed as the captain, i was hoped to be the morale booster for the team. but seeing from the current situation, i think i am just a useless wimp. i feel really really sorry for the team. i guess if keat kee was to be the captain, the situation would be much much better.

same goes to the role i play in class. monitor is just a name, nothing else. i cant control the class, cant gain respect from some of the classmates, can hardly make announcement in front of the class, cant get their attention while conducting class discussion............ what can i do? i cant even carry out these easy stuff. i am just a wimp. i wonder why mr kwa thinks that i can be the monitor? because of my excellence performance as a treasurer last year? he is damn damn wrong man...

although i do hope to be a good leader, but the laziness inside me has screw the whole thing up... now, i feel nothing but just a deep regret and apology.