A ray of hope in misery - "trap in disguise"

That idea was: Hey! Why not I complete my studies of two years in Singapore and join Kar Seong, Foo Seng, Wah San they all in KL when I am 20? As compared to "beating BAM", "joining BAM"... isn't this idea much more practical and able to kill two birds with one stone? I can finish my studies as everyone wants me to and continue to pursue my dream after that, since people like KS and WS also joined that squad when they were 19++!

I was thinking over this last night and I thought this was a good idea! Haha now I have another option! But when I told my mother the next morning, she didn't seem to agree with it, though she didn't object it strongly. She said if that is what's going to happen, am I not like FS and WS? When there was a chance for them to study, they chose to continue badminton in KL.

Hmm... Yea.. But then I was still not convinced to let this idea go. Only until later in the morning, when I was on my way to a friendly match. I guess my father heard it when I told my mom even though he didn't mention it (I talked to my mom when he was in toilet -_-). He asked FS about stuff at the place where they train, such as their salaries, accommodation, meals, training etc.. Oh hell, this beat the idea of joining them out of my mind..

5 players share RM2000 which means only RM400 per person and they are in KL!! How is it possible to be enough for them, when they have to pay for their own meals?! And the training, I thought, sounds like it sucks.. Really -.- haiz....

What I thought to be an alternate option, turned out to be a trap afterall... Look like I'd better study Uni after JC and forget about playing badminton...

People will say, "No, don't quit playing badminton because it will help you in your job in the future..." or whatever. Yea I know. But the thing is, I like to play badminton not because I like to play badminton (I know this sounds pretty confusing), but because I like the atmosphere of the tournaments, especially when there is a group of friends behind you, shouting for you. And also because I want to reach a higher level in my badminton career. That's why if you ask me to play badminton recreationally, oh forget it...

2010 Christmas Eve - BBQ at Kah Yan's house

It's Christmas Eve finally, which means New Year is around the corner, which also means I have to go back to Singapore soon!!

This year's Christmas Eve was a bit more special than the previous years' because normally Christmas Eve and Christmas are just like any other normal days. My family does not celebrate Christmas. But this year, we had BBQ at Yan's place. I am not sure whose idea was this (Ai Ying or Yan's) but I was quite happy because this served as a gathering for me and my badminton friends over in Perak.

Before 24th Dec, they mentioned that they were going to buy food on the party that day. Since I thought I didn't have anything on that day, I offered to help. Unfortunately, she said the car had no more space since they had to bring another two guys to Yan's house on the way back. Ok, this was fine, but the way she said it made me feel like I was a burden, following them would just make things worse. Well, I just wanted to help, I just didn't want to go there and have fun and later they blamed me that I didn't help at all. Ok, perhaps she didn't mean it. It's just the way she speaks. But the tone made me feel uneasy.

Anyway, that passed once I stepped into the party. Who can not feel happy when his bright, friendly, humourous friends were around?

Then I 'helped' to start the fire... Well, not really that I started the fire since they had started it before I reached there. I sort of helped to 'maintain' it.. Anyway, that was funny with the 諸葛亮/男版鉄扇公主 and our new style of BBQing (who use a fan for BBQing?).

Later then Yan's did the same thing as Cong and we called her 鉄扇公主 but sadly she won't do it when I was trying to film the process..

The BBQ started when the sky had finally darken and the guests had started to arrive. I wasn't sure if it was because I was lousy or the fire was just too strong, I burnt the first two hotdogs. Just the first TWO! But Chow Yi Lin kept pointing at me whenever someone asked who burnt the whatever things that were burnt when she was in-charge of taking care of the first hotdog. Haha. Nice to meet her though. She is funny.

Kar Seong attended the BBQ too. This guy is the most funny guy in the state team (but he is now training in KL, kind of representing Malaysia). He is very humourous. His jokes have never failed to make us laugh. The girls kept saying, "OMG! I have stitches now!" Who won't in his presence? I like this guy (not the way that you are thinking kay? -.-) or rather I should say I admire this guy, due to his humourous nature which never fail to lighten the mood around him (and also which I do not have) and badminton (he is strong)... And this was when an idea popped into my mind.. I will talk about this a little bit more in my next post: A ray of hope in misery - "trap in disguise"....

This is roughly how I spent my Christmas Eve... Merry Christmas!!

the same thought on badminton over and over again

This kind of thoughts, this kind of feelings, should have been gone for years.... And yet, they have all come back since the beginning of this tournament.

Ever since I got the scholarship to further my studies in Singapore, I have told myself that badminton would just be another recreational sports, there is no need to train so hard as if there will be still chances for me to be as pro as I would like to be, there is no chance that I would be able to join the every-teenage-sportsmen's-dream BJSS family, there is no chance that I could beat them anymore. I thought I have gotten over this but apparently that is not true.

I went to watch the games last few days. Looking at all the old BJSS players and the new BJSS players, some kind of weird feeling happened to overwhelm me.. Look at their speed and skills, those are what I had once imagined I would obtain. But this dream had shattered a long time ago. Yet, the tournament made my hands itchy, as though it was going to ignite the extinguished fire and motivation inside me, which I know it will never burn again, at least not as brightly and strongly as before.

My coach once said that, "There can be many people being top students in the area of studies, but no matter how much effort you have put into badminton, there is only one champion. If you can't be the champion, you are wasting your time staying in the national team." He does not encourage his players to join BJSS.

One of my friends has also told me over and over again that I had made a smart choice for furthering my studies overseas. Rationality tells me that the choice I made was indeed a smart one, but there is still a small part of me who does not accept it. He is defiant and still thinking that he should have chosen badminton over studies. Well, where does my interest actually lie in? Studies or badminton? What is actually more important over the other for a teenager of my age? His interest or the road paved towards a brighter future? This is a really dumb question. Of course paving the road that is leading towards a brighter future is more important. Or should I ask: His interest or something that he does not like to do but will lead him...... Oh never mind. There won't be an end for this kind of question, because different people have different mentality and what is done is done, so what's the point of arguing and regretting over it?

Perhaps if I start to train hard now and one day I will be able to join/beat the BJSS/BAM players (好大的口氣！); perhaps I will be as pro one day; perhaps I can continue my professional badminton career after my studies. Well, this is a very tiny little (false?) hope that I have now..........

The feeling that overwhelmed me that day, I am not sure what it is. But whenever I think about/see the BJSS players, it will appear out of nowhere. I just hope that it will not bother me anymore because its appearance gives me hope that I know I can't fulfill...

Changchun OIP 2010

It's been quite a while since I last blogged. Laziness had crept on to me since the last few months and I just didn't feel like getting my fingers on to the keyboard.

Last month, I went for my second OIP trip in my second year in RI (I was lucky). This time I managed to fly out of the Southeast Asia and to Changchun, China. I was so excited because that was my very first time seeing snow, REAL snow!! I couldn't believe that I actually walked on the snow,grabbing it in my almost frozen hands after being 17 years living in tropical countries which the temperature never go below 20 degree Celcius!

We had home-stay with 3 different buddies (normally we only have one buddy but this time round too many students from JDFZ wanted to host us so we were assigned 3 buddies) and they are really hospitable, especially their parents who really treated us as if we were their sons.

Through the interaction with them, I managed to explore more deeply into the Chinese culture. I got to know about the origin of the Chinese dumplings and their significance during Chinese New Year. But afterall, what excited me the most was still the SNOW!!!!


More great friends too :)

I have more photos on my facebook, pls visit:

part 1: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?id=1627785409&aid=75828

part 2: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?id=1627785409&aid=75852

part 3: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?id=1627785409&aid=75864