Went back to Ipoh for CNY and aside from family I only met up with Sam Tet friends whom we came to Singapore to study together. During one of my conversation with KH, we touched on the topics of work, further studies, and eventually back to the choice we made to study in Singapore.
To me, it was a privilege to be able to get out of Malaysia and study in Singapore. I mean, what use would I have if I were to continue studying in Malaysia? I won't be continuing badminton in any case, and I couldn't imagine what I would have become if I were to study in Malaysia, or would I even be in a uni in the first place. As KH said, it was a privilege for me because I was able to reap the full benefits of the scholarship to study in Singapore. I mixed in well with the people, didn't struggle much with my studies, got good A levels result, continue my scholarship for uni, made lots of friends, started dancing etc etc. Everything had been going well for me.
What I didn't think of was that, such privilege for me was just an opportunity for KH and KW and perhaps some other juniors. KH was telling me that if he were to choose again, he won't be going to Singapore. He struggled with studies, didn't like much of the environment because of the fast-paced of living, and felt that time was wasted in taking the A levels in Singapore for what he is going to do eventually, which is to become a doctor. He could have started earlier on his medical studies but bec of his choice to study in Singapore that he required more effort and more time to catch up with his studies in the medical field. He would have been much better if he stayed in Malaysia. Same goes for KW who was lucky enough to pursue his studies eventually in Yales. Still remembered the day when we got our A-levels result, I was still congratulating him on his improvement after being told his result, little did I know that whatever I said the other time must have hurt him so much inside.. This is gonna be something that I would regret for life..
I really didn't realise that such privilege for me didn't do much good for them.. And I was still thinking that how could anyone not have taken this opportunity as a privilege. This just goes to show how naive and immature I was. I have taken this for granted throughout my 8 years in Singapore..
I had also been talking about wanting to have bros, like a group of guy friends that I can stick together with. And I have been lamenting that why do I not have one. Now think about it, I could have one. Those whom I came to Singapore with, KH, WH, KW, were they not the best people? But I did not think of keeping the kind of bond that we had initially..
Went back to DD last week to sit in to their forum.. It was heartening to see that there are so many juniors who are so passionate and enthusiastic. Putting aside such heart-warming feeling and pride though, what I had was the worry that they might want to grow too much too fast.. While it is good to have such enthusiasm, but I think that they should take a step back sometimes and take things slower, because when you are busy growing and be passionate about so many freaking things, you might lose something else along the way. At first, I wondered why did I have such thought. And now I realised that I went through this myself.. When I first came to Singapore, I was eager to mix in well with the local, eager to start a new life. And I spent most of my time with the locals, neglecting and forgetting those that helped me into this new environment. I was too eager for the new environment that I forgot my root and the people that were closer to me.. Now I realised that those friends that I made in my school time would probably be the only friends that I would make in my life. Yet I didn't cherish them and took their friendship for granted. I regret this very much and if I were to restart my Singapore life again I would have made a different decision. But not everything in life has a second chance..
I had also been talking about wanting to have bros, like a group of guy friends that I can stick together with. And I have been lamenting that why do I not have one. Now think about it, I could have one. Those whom I came to Singapore with, KH, WH, KW, were they not the best people? But I did not think of keeping the kind of bond that we had initially..
Went back to DD last week to sit in to their forum.. It was heartening to see that there are so many juniors who are so passionate and enthusiastic. Putting aside such heart-warming feeling and pride though, what I had was the worry that they might want to grow too much too fast.. While it is good to have such enthusiasm, but I think that they should take a step back sometimes and take things slower, because when you are busy growing and be passionate about so many freaking things, you might lose something else along the way. At first, I wondered why did I have such thought. And now I realised that I went through this myself.. When I first came to Singapore, I was eager to mix in well with the local, eager to start a new life. And I spent most of my time with the locals, neglecting and forgetting those that helped me into this new environment. I was too eager for the new environment that I forgot my root and the people that were closer to me.. Now I realised that those friends that I made in my school time would probably be the only friends that I would make in my life. Yet I didn't cherish them and took their friendship for granted. I regret this very much and if I were to restart my Singapore life again I would have made a different decision. But not everything in life has a second chance..
