That Blue Sky and Green Field

26.1.16

Had dinner with friends and before going to the dance studio for the second time of the week (and it is only Tuesday) my friends wanted to visit the track for a while since things were rather happening there.

Didn't think of joining any of the sports, but Sports Fiesta man ... kinda brought back some memories of the time when I could still call myself a sportsman. Standing at the edge of the track, looking at people running after the hone sounded, or simply just watching people sitting in a circle in the middle of the field chit-chatting. Man, I missed the time when I still saw that blue sky and green field while sweating, training or just simply playing with my teammates. Not that badminton used the field much, but it nonetheless required some field training. Suddenly I dread going for dance (just for that tiny moment) because it means enclosing ourselves in the studio which while it is not suffocating it is far from meaning freedom.

Okay that thought just came into my mind because I know part of me still wanted to be that sportsman that I once was. I look better as a sportsman. Then again, I love dance too! While I can't do as well as others in putting emotions on my RDLF, nonetheless I feel I was able to express what I want to in my own way (or getting there haha). And dance seems to be a medium to satisfy my little rebellious self which is trying so hard to get away from the perception of how other people think of me.

True though that this term gonna be a shiong dance term. Can't wait till the time I can run freely under the blue sky again! And with my friends!

ps: intended this to be a short post but it is longer than I expected.. Wanna try a new way of writing my posts. Instead of long passages, will try for really short posts too!

Dance-lidays or Dolidays, pick your choice!

24.1.16

MAMAMIA It's 2016! And the past five weeks were supposed to be my last long holidays that I will ever get as a student :( And guess what? When people asked me how was my holiday? I would usually answer:

"WHAT HOLIDAY?"

Well, I am not complaining but what I said still has some truth in it. Since last term ended (Holy **** tmr is the first day of the new term!!), first week of holidays was busy preparing for choreographers' audition, second was busy for solo audition, subsequent weeks were for item choreos. On top of that I had to help with choreo with Open House and Combined Dance Camp Finale/Concert Finale. And I think I am being too ambitious for taking up three items for the concert. So there are 5 choreos I have to remember on top choreo-ing. WAH GG! So I was right to say "What Holiday?!" because there was really almost none for me! This holiday was the most dance intensive holiday I ever had, or will ever have!

Then again, I would rather spend most of my time doing what I had been doing for the past 5 weeks than studying ... I don't want to graduate! Because I might not have time for what I like to do :(

Stop Thinking and Start Dancing!

... cum Happy New Year!! 明けましておめでとう！！

For once the title of my post is something slightly more meaningful haha! This year new year was the same as last year, we went to Marina Bay with the Aerial Filming team to shoot for the new year eve events plus firework!

Now, back to dance. All of us who wished to be part of the upcoming concert will have to come out with a choreography for "audition", something like an entrance exam. Not a test per-se, but it's more like to see if we are willing to get out of our comfort zone to fight for something, or how much we want it.

So, as usual, I dragged to the last minute before I really had to start doing the choreo. Spent one whole freaking day to come out with the choreography and another to practice. And this is what I have:

I don't know why I keep looking for emo song to choreo to? Maybe it is more lyrical easier to choreo, or I am just not good enough to listen for the beats to choreo for hip hop songs *shrug* but glad that people say it is nice hehe :)

Everyone has to give each other comments and scores related to SEE, HEAR and FEEL. Not that what other people give me don't matter, but a good gauge on where I stand would be looking at the comment I get from the instructor:

"Very clean! Good musicality. Time to stop thinking and start dancing Cheng!"

ps: on the side note, the video quality quite lousy tho maybe next time I should upload to youtube and put the link here instead.

Reflection of 2015 & 2016 Resolution

Reflection

• Sometimes I don't know if I put my priority on the wrong thing, because everyone comes to uni to pursue higher education. But I would rather miss a class than missing a dance session.
• In general, for the past term/year, it was so busy that there were only schoolwork (homework, projects etc.) and dance. Time flew just like that, and I didn't have time to find out what I actually like/want to do in the future.
• Because of ^, I am worried about what kind of job will I be getting after I graduate. And to be honest, dance would not be a good career choice for me.
• Family wise, as a foreign student, I don't have much time to go home. I am glad that my mom came over to Singapore because of my newly born nephew.
• And talking about my family, I really haven't been putting "family" in the first place hmmm :/
• Friends wise, as usual, I think I am too socially awkward to make any close friends. Those whom I invest my time on them do not seem to reciprocate. Not that I don't have friends, but none seems to be close enough to be called good friends. (Doesn't matter it is male or female friends). Oh and I guess I haven't really been putting in effort to keep in touch with my old friends too :/
• Relationship wise, I think I am too selfish (my dad told me that before but I didn't want to believe it, but at this age when I finally mature enough to reflect on myself, yup I admit I am selfish) to actually be caring for the other person. And it's not easy to be looking for a person that you actually lke. I guess my expectation is too high.

• Badminton and Dance wise, I really missed those time when I was with my badminton friends, went for competitions together, stayed together, trained together etc etc. (whether or not they were my Perak teammates - Jason, Ren Cong, Kar Yew, Duncan, Chee Yong, Kar Seong, Sheng Li, Fleong, Foo Seng, Su Tien, Jenky, Li Yen, Joan, Shukey etc - or my Singapore teammates - Jey-Sng, Jey-Ren, Huin Kit, Tze Herng, Julian, Shi Jie, Keat Kee, Shayne, Bryan, Jonathan, Wei Hing, Vivian, Jesslyn, Amelia, Yong Xin, Yong Hui, Siti, Sheryl, Boon Xin, Irsyad, Yi Chye, Gerald Ong, Jin Hao, Masa, Alton, Wei Han, Tanapat, Thitirat, Natapol, Terry Hee, Kean Hean etc) Haha I don't know why am I listing down all these names, I guess I just wanted my memories of badminton to be associated with these people who went through thick and thin with me in some way or another haha. I might not be a person that always keep in contact with people, but I do value the time that we all spent together. 
• I am always unwilling to tell my badminton friends that I am in dance now, because somehow I feel some kind of guilt as if I betrayed them, betrayed badminton and joined dance which seems so irrelevant; because somehow it feels as if I tell them that I am in dance, the info will create this chasm so deep and wide that it would virtually put us into two different worlds.
• I really missed the badminton time, with all these people, but I don't have any motivation to continue :'(

• Perhaps one good thing for the year was I decided to head a small workshop, become part of the Dance Concert'16 committee, try out to be the main lead of the concert, try to be a student choreographer. As my MBTI test years ago suggests, I am a very SC (stable and compliance) person and I am not very willing to change, but I guess I am trying to get out of my comfort zone.
• Especially auditioning for the main lead, I have never acted before, let along acting in front of a group of people. Similar to 2014 Premiere, my friends were saying that they would never have imagined me dancing on stage. I guess I am always trying to become a person that is not what others perceive me to be (but that does not necessarily mean that I am not being myself)

Resolution

• Think critically, in any aspects: studies, relationships, or just in anything that I do everyday.
• Smile more! Make more new friends while not forgetting the old ones.
• Stop thinking and start dancing!
• Start thinking more for others too!
• Find out what I really love to do and go ahead and do it.
• Stop comparing myself with others, and appreciate what I already have rather than mourning over what I don't.